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Influence and Concern: A Tale of Two Circles

I’ve been re-reading Stephen Covey’s iconic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (free audiobook version here). Actually, I’m listening to the audiobook during my commute, but that’s besides the point. The point is I’m totally revved up and excited to start implementing the habits at work and at home. I’m so excited about this that I want to share each of the habits with you as I go through the book and share how I’m hoping to actually adopt them into my life.

The First Habit: Be Proactive

Being proactive, as Covey describes it, is the opposite of being reactive. He invokes the image of two concentric circles to illustrate his point. The inner circle represents all the stuff you can influence – your circle of influence. Everything you can control – at least to some degree – falls within this circle. Being proactive means understanding what’s in this circle and exercising that control in a way that leads you closer to your goals. This is empowering, and can lead to the growth of your circle of influence.

In contrast, the outer circle is the circle of concern. This covers everything you care about and everything that affects you, but that you have no control over. This covers stuff like the weather, your boss having a bad day, and road construction. Bad weather might crush your soul, but there’s nothing you can actually do about it, right? Covey suggests you recognize this, and just drop it. Why would you spend the mental energy worrying about things you can’t control? Just forget about it.

Easier Said Than Done

When I first listened to this habit, I thought to myself “Well, duh! Thanks a lot for that stroke of genius, Stevie.” Then, I actually started noticing how much I stress over things that I have exactly zero ability to change. For your entertainment, I kept a list  of all the things I stress about today at work that I can do nothing about. It included:

  • The office photocopier being slow/ eating everything I copy
  • The fact that my company uses Lotus Notes instead of any other e-mail client
  • The fact that somebody ran into the product I’m working on with a fork-lift and the ding is still visible
  • Getting cut off in the middle of a client presentation
  • Windows XP
  • Everything to do with applying for a work visa

I’m kindof chuckling to myself now as I write this. I spend way too much mental energy on things outside of my circle of influence. I don’t want to give the impression that I hate work or anything – I don’t. I really like what I do. I’m realizing, though, that I need to let go of a lot of really minute things, and spent my time being proactive – working on what I can control.

Your Turn

What do you worry about that you really shouldn’t? Tell us in the comments section below!

Have your say

8 Comments

  1. Sultan

    Recently, I was extremely busy with (and of course worried about) my visa process. Finally, I got it; the point is it took all the 45 days it was supposed to but I spent almost a month in tension and anxiety worrying about what would happen if didn’t get it. The point is “how” not to worry about the things you should not? Any suggestions?

    Reply
    • Pat Sweet

      Hi,

      For me the most important thing to do is to bear in mind what you can and can’t control. If you can identify what is and is not within your control, it can be much easier to “let go” of those things that are stressing you out. You simply need to remind yourself that there are some things that you can do nothing about in life, and that those things are not worth the mental strain.

      I hope that’s a help!
      Pat

      Reply
    • Aditi

      I absolutely agree with Pat. There is a verse in Gita ( a holy book) that means do the best you can and leave the rest to me. We need to understand and wisely choose as to where we want to spend our energy. Anxiety is not a desirable state to be in.
      I feel we need to think wisely, act smartly, take all possible actions to ensure our work is best done and then wait for the results.

      I hope this is of some help.

      Stay Blessed!

      Aditi

      Reply
      • Pat Sweet

        Hi Aditi,

        Thank you so much for your comment. I really appreciate your input and think it’s very cool that you pull inspiration from Gita. I appreciate the support!

        Pat

        Reply
  2. Tim

    “The fact that my company uses Lotus Notes instead of any other e-mail client”. Oh man. I couldn’t agree more. I’m sure I think about this almost every week. I find myself dreaming about asking about this in the next all employee’s meeting when they ask for questions – not a good idea.
    Great article. I need to get into audiobooks. They would be a far better use of the 40 minutes I spend in the car every day!

    Reply
    • Pat Sweet

      Hey Tim,

      Thanks for your comments! Glad to hear I’m in good company with respect to Lotus Notes :-) We’re also running Windows XP, if you can believe that.

      As for audiobooks, I can’t recommend them highly enough. You might consider checking your local library – they may have some titles that you can borrow for free. Ours has a pretty good selection, so I haven’t had to buy one for months.

      Thanks again for your comment!
      Pat

      Reply
  3. Viv

    Things which annoy me but I have no control over; my work culture, office location and some personalities. Things which are in my control; my work ethics, other job vacancies and my wellbeing. Great article btw.

    Reply
    • Pat Sweet

      Hey Viv,

      Thanks for your input and your kind words. Much appreciated!

      Pat

      Reply

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September 22, 2012

By Pat Sweet

Pat is the president of The Engineering & Leadership Project. He's a recognized expert in leadership, project management, systems engineering and productivity.

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